


i wanna make you smile like the spring

by soonhan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Secret Crush, Soonhan, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9767570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonhan/pseuds/soonhan
Summary: a heart can be like a bird, fluttering its wings softly on the breath of a sigh; it can soar and sing, and it is delicate; neglected it can fade and wither, lost to the bitterness of the worldand some birds need a little help before they learn how to fly





	

**Author's Note:**

> based around the music videos for chocolate and mansae, as well as soonyoung confessing that he'd never received a valentine before on the boys wish concert dvd

There was a commotion in the classroom as the teacher came in, and with a shake of his head and a huff of laughter he walked to his desk. It was Valentine’s Day after all, and every classroom was buzzing with excitement. With a few more minutes before the bell rang, he let the boys be.

“This has to be some sort of record,” Seungkwan whispered, staring at the desk in front of him in awe.

“Over 50 presents and cards? What the hell is you secret?” Vernon asked, running a silk ribbon through his fingers and gaping.

Jeonghan laughed and picked up a box of sweets- he’d give these away since he wasn’t a fan of candy, but he did appreciate the sentiment. Whoever had sent them clearly didn’t know him well enough to know what his preferences were.

“My natural charm? Let’s be honest guys, I only get these for my looks.”

The boys around him crowed with laughter, a few patting Jeonghan on the back. He laughed with them, staring at the pile in front of him wearily.

“You’ve got more than just a pretty face, you know. You’re pretty funny too.”

The bell rang, signalling the start of class and forcing them all back to their seats. Most others had a card or chocolate waiting for them as well, though no one could match Jeonghan’s haul. He put it all in his bag, taking one of the larger chocolate boxes and offering it to his seatmate Junhui who accepted it eagerly even with the considerable amount of Valentine’s candy he had to himself already.

The teacher began his lesson, turning to the board to start writing down notes. Jeonghan was copying them down when he noticed something in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to see that Soonyoung was staring at him rather intently, brows furrowed and mouth drawn, though it flipped to a smile when he saw Jeonghan looking. It didn’t reach his eyes like it normally did, and Jeonghan immediately felt concerned.

He wanted to ask what was wrong but Soonyoung had already returned his attention to his notes, pen scratching away at his paper. Jeonghan looked at him a moment longer before doing the same. Behind him Jihoon started whispering to Mingyu, and he would have ignored them in favour of the lesson except that he heard his name.

“... the way he was looking at Jeonghan? Poor guy didn’t get anything this year.”

Soonyoung flinched at the words, clearly overhearing. He stared straight ahead at the board, gripping his pen so tightly that Jeonghan was worried that it might snap. Jeonghan couldn’t blame him, he would have hated himself as well for flaunting all the presents he got from loving admirers. He felt sick to his stomach, and he was hardly able to focus on the lesson after that- he’d ask Junhui for the notes later.

How had he not noticed that Soonyoung hadn’t received a single thing today?

His fingers tapped nervously on his blank notepaper, his lip caught between his teeth as he worried it ceaselessly. He thought back on last Valentine’s Day, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember if Soonyoung had received anything then either. His stomach was in knots, the weight of the gifts in his bag pressing down on his shoulders.

He wondered if Soonyoung would be offended if he gave him one of his presents and figured that was a definite possibility. He wracked his brain for something to do, his tapping becoming more insistent. Junhui looked at him with a curious look, looking between his hand and him when Jeonghan shot it up into the air suddenly. The teacher stopped talking and turned his head, acknowledging him.

“May I go to the restroom?”

The teacher checked the clock and pressed his lips together in dissatisfaction before giving him the go ahead with a dismissive wave of his hand. He smiled and stood up, exiting the classroom hastily. He didn’t have much time before it would become suspicious, so he practically ran towards his locker. He knew Soonyoung’s was a few down from his since his last name was further up the alphabet. He ran his finger along each one until he reached the one he was looking for.

He’d been with Soonyoung a couple times before while he was getting things out of his locker, and curse or bless his inherently curious nature- or devious as Joshua liked to call it- that he payed attention to the combination as Soonyoung’s fingers had worked on opening the lock.

He opened it and placed the box of chocolate that he’d discreetly taken with him on the top shelf, adjusting it slightly before closing the locker again and clicking the lock closed. With a satisfied smile he walked back to the classroom, at a leisurely pace now that he had done what he planned to do.

He stayed several steps behind Soonyoung when they all made their way towards their lockers after class, their chatter loud in his ears although he was hardly paying attention to a word that was said. He stopped in front of his locker and watched from the corner of his eye; Soonyoung unlocking his locker, reaching in to grab his bag, hesitating when he noticed what hadn’t been there before. Even from where he was he could see the shock register on Soonyoung’s face, his hand lifting to pull the box out and staring at it like it was going to bite him. Jeonghan held his breath, snapping his eyes to his lock and fiddling with it when he saw Soonyoung turn his head to look around.

“What’s that?” Jeonghan heard someone ask. He looked again to see Seungkwan pointing to the box and Soonyoung’s expression seemed stuck between confusion and curiosity.

“A Valentine? Finally!”

Seungkwan clapped and smacked him in the arm, congratulating him loudly over the crowd and smiling brightly. The force seemed to jolt Soonyoung’s system because he started to smile back, bringing the box up to his chest and laughing. Jeonghan felt his heart soar, pleased that his plan had worked out so well. He tried not to seem obvious as he watched them walk past him, Soonyoung still clutching the box to his chest as though he were afraid it would fly away. He almost swore he saw Soonyoung’s eyes shining with tears, but he figured he may have been giving himself too much credit.

“Are you having trouble with your lock?”

Seungcheol waved his hand in front of Jeonghan, pulling his attention away from the pair who were quickly disappearing down the hall. He parted his lips and looked down at his hands that were still twirling the dial of his lock uselessly. Seungcheol had his eyebrow raised and head tilted, looking between the lock and Jeonghan’s face. He laughed it off and quickly got his lock undone, only after pretending to mess up his combination one more time.

His bag felt a lot less heavy on the way home, his steps light while he walked home on the chilly February afternoon.

***

He did it the next year too, only with a present he’d bought himself rather than something he re-gifted- a bear he’d found at a gift shop with a big heart clutched in its paws. It claimed to be chocolate-scented but it seemed to smell more like a chemical perfume than anything resembling chocolate. He placed it in Soonyoung’s locker before classes started and congratulated him at lunchtime when he came bounding into the cafeteria with it held tightly in his arms. If he hated the smell he didn’t show it, pressing his nose into the top of its head with a sheepish smile.

He felt the same soaring feeling in his heart that he had when Soonyoung had gotten his first present. It was a warm feeling, and he realized why people loved to give presents if this was how it felt to see someone receive them. He was already thinking about what to get him next year.

***

The third year he did it he left a card too, taking care to have the text printed rather than handwritten. He wasn’t entirely sure why he wanted to keep it a secret- perhaps he felt if Soonyoung knew it was him he would lose the feeling that bloomed in his heart when he gave him something each Valentine’s day. It wasn’t a long card, but when Soonyoung read it out loud it felt like he’d written him an entire novel.

Every word seemed twice as sincere from his lips, lips that curled up as he fought to read through his smile. The others at the table cooed and whooped, all sharing the same sentiment of excitement over Soonyoung and his Valentine. Jeonghan knew it must have hurt them just as much to see him so dejected over getting nothing, not even a card.

That year he’d also bought several candy grams for him, signing each with a heart and waiting with bated breath for the knock on the door that announced the delivery. Soonyoung reacted how he expected- a bright smile, his hand coming up to cover his mouth and his head ducking down shyly. Ten heart-shaped candies were laid out with care on his desk, and Jeonghan knew he couldn’t hear the lesson that started up again. He wondered if Soonyoung ever ate them.

***

The year after that something unexpected happened- along with Jeonghan’s annual present Soonyoung got something else. A handwritten letter in pretty script, decorated with hearts and cute stickers, from a someone that was most definitely not himself. Jeonghan couldn’t read what it said specifically from where he was sitting, but he could only imagine the sickly sweet language that was scrawled over the light pink paper.

He felt a flutter of panic watching Soonyoung smooth it out flat on his desk and smile at it with an expression Jeonghan could only describe as smitten. He lifted his gaze from the paper, his eyes curved up happily and index tracing circles on his desk as his head tipped to the side. Jeonghan felt his throat go dry, knowing the look Soonyoung had on his face wasn’t because of him and hating it.

“Do you think it’s from the person who’s been sending me Valentine’s presents for the past few years?” he asked, tucking his hands under him and swinging his feet. Jeonghan wouldn’t be surprised if he start bouncing in his seat with the excitement he could feel coming off of him. He managed to smile back, dropping his eyes to the letter and swallowing before he spoke.

“Could be. They didn’t say who they were?”

“Just that they’re my secret admirer,” Soonyoung replied wistfully. He looked at the page again, his eyes tracing every letter slowly. He seemed to drift further away from Jeonghan with every syllable he absorbed.

He turned away from Soonyoung when he was sure he no longer had his attention, the urge to tear the letter up incredibly strong. It was all he could think about through their class, and every so often he could see Soonyoung re-reading it out of the corner of his eye. It made him grit his teeth.

He didn’t wait for Soonyoung after class. Instead he ran to the library, and as he handed the change to the librarian for the print-off he got a smile, clearly having read what it said. He didn’t care- it wasn’t important now who saw, and he walked to Soonyoung’s locker with determined steps, folding up the paper and slipping it inside.

He stepped back with a smile and slipped his hands into his pockets, making his way to the next class. The teacher raised her eyebrows at his lateness but made no comment, continuing her lesson as he took his seat. Junhui gave him a curious look and he returned it with a smile, pulling out his textbook and ignoring the urge to look at Soonyoung every few minutes.

***

The air was cold and crisp, but no wind blew, and Jeonghan was waiting behind the school like he said he would be.

Soonyoung rounded the corner, his cheeks a bright pink- whether from the cold or something else Jeonghan didn’t know, but he found it cute either way. His steps became hesitant when he saw Jeonghan a few feet away, and he walked forward slowly, his eyes darting around the area to see if he was the only one there. Jeonghan felt a bit hurt at the action but met Soonyoung with a smile.

“You? You left me this letter?” Soonyoung stared at him, eyes wide with disbelief. His hands curled into fists, one hand bunching his sweater up in a nervous twist, the other clutching the letter Jeonghan had left in his locker telling him to meet him out back. Jeonghan’s mouth opened to speak, but the look on Soonyoung’s face had him at a loss for words.

Soonyoung’s disbelief began to fade to distrust, his hand tightening around the invitation Jeonghan had left.

“You can’t be my secret admirer. You could have anyone in this school. Why would you chose me over any one of them?”

Jeonghan’s heart twisted at his words, and he felt the urge to reach out and pull Soonyoung into his arms. Soonyoung couldn’t keep his eyes on him, his face turned down towards the ground.

“Actually, I’m not. I don’t know who left you that other letter. It wasn’t me, but as selfish as it sounds I don’t want them to have you.”

Soonyoung huffed, sounding a bit bitter, but there was something else beneath it. He turned his head away, shoulders folding in on himself. Jeonghan’s desire to step forward and hug him only grew, but instead he shook his head and kept talking.

“They’re also not the one who’s been leaving you presents for the past few years.”

Soonyoung’s brow furrowed, lifting his eyes to look over Jeonghan’s face. He seemed to understand the implication but refused to believe it. His hand tightened again, the crumple of paper sounding too loud in the space between them.

“The first year I left it in your locker when I asked to go to the bathroom.”

Soonyoung looked as though he was trying to recall, his lips parting softly, and Jeonghan nodded when they made eye contact again.

“I saw you looking at what I’d received that year and how upset you were… It hurt to see you that way, Soonyoung, I had to do something. So I put a box of chocolates in your locker.”

“Did you pity me?” Soonyoung’s words were tight, with a sharpness Jeonghan had never heard before.

“It might have been pity at first,” Jeonghan admitted, still a bit unsure now about how he’d felt back then. Pity didn’t seem quite right, and he regretted saying it when he saw Soonyoung flinch, dropping his eyes again.

“But it wasn’t after I saw how you reacted. It was something else.”

“And what’s that?”

“Do I have to spell it out to you Soonyoung?”

The corner of Soonyoung’s mouth quirked up, his eyes still hidden by his bangs. His hand relaxed, the invitation in his hand given some breathing room, no longer crushed under a white-knuckled grip.

“Maybe you do.” Jeonghan felt the tightness on his heart ease, as if the grip Soonyoung had had on the invitation was somehow connected to it. He tipped his head up, watching the clouds go by while he worked out how to explain his feelings.

“It made me so happy to see you smiling. To know I made you smile like that, even over something simple like a box of chocolates. The next year when I left you another present I felt the same way, it was like my heart was flying. I’d never really felt that before.”

The invitation fluttered and fell to the ground quietly, Soonyoung stepping forward into Jeonghan’s space and looking into his eyes. His smile had disappeared, but so had the hurt that had darkened his face.

“Go on.”

From this distance he could see that the tips of Soonyoung’s ears were pink where they poked out from underneath his hair. It took a certain measure of self-control not to reach out and rub them between his fingers, his heart fluttering at the thought. He wet his lips and kept talking like Soonyoung had asked him to- if he this was his confession he would confess to it all.

“I liked being the one to make you feel special. I guess I panicked when you got that letter because I was scared that it wasn’t just something special between us anymore.”

Soonyoung laughed and pulled out the letter from his coat pocket, unfolding it carefully and handing it over to Jeonghan. He took it with a frown, starting to read it before Soonyoung interrupted.

“It’s from a first year student. They saw me dance at the recital and they told me they think of me as their role model. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, at least not what I think you’re worried about.”

Jeonghan read word for word through the letter, through the excitement and admiration, and he felt a mix of embarrassment and relief. He let his hand fall with a laugh, covering his eyes and shaking his head.

“Guess I overreacted,” he muttered, the letter dangling from his hand. Soonyoung laughed with him, taking the letter back and folding it up again. Jeonghan looked at him between his fingers, mouth upturned in a sheepish smile, and Soonyoung reached out and pulled his hand away.

“So you knew who your secret admirer was and you still came to see me?” Jeonghan asked, trying to ignore how nice it felt to have his hand in Soonyoung’s.

“Well I was curious to know who was pretending to be my secret admirer once I found out who the initial one was,” Soonyoung answered with a smirk. “You certainly surprised me.”

Jeonghan felt a little light-headed, with Soonyoung’s hand seeming to be the only thing keeping him grounded. He felt Soonyoung’s grip tighten and his feet shifted through the dusting of snow that lay at their feet.

“Did you really ask me to meet you here so you could confess to me?” Soonyoung asked, his eyes curved up from his smile, but Jeonghan could see the vulnerability they betrayed.

He laced his fingers with Soonyoung’s, expression softening as he lifted them to his chest. There he pressed Soonyoung’s palm flat, feeling the heat of his skin through his sweater. He didn’t have to say a word for Soonyoung to understand.

The last present Jeonghan gave Soonyoung for Valentine’s day- without a bow or a box but objectively wrapped in the prettiest packaging Soonyoung had ever seen- was his heart. And this time it was accepted without hesitation.


End file.
